The Witching Hour

Well hello, hello. Greetings from mommyland!

So, Andie Bar has been having this odd 'witching hour' every night for her whole little 5-week life. She turns down milk, whines, cries, and repeat. We struggle for about an hour and then she finally takes her milk and passes out from exhaustion. It also marks her longest nap of the day, which is 4 1/2 hours...The Big Bertha, if you will.

For weeks, Weldon and I have dealt with this witching hour with confusion and concern and finally, last night, we figured out the problem: we are idiots. Well, at least that's the short version of the story. The obvious part of the story is that Andie has colic aka GERD aka reflux...oops!

We thought colicky babies cried all day everyday so we never thought that's what it was. Apparently, the witching hour is a colicky episode. I'm glad we figured it out because we researched ways to make her comfortable and it really helps. My poor baby has been struggling for weeks and probably wondering why God paired her with such clueless people. Ha ha!!!

I honestly thought colic would kill me but I think my saving grace is that the witching hour happens between 9 and 10 and not at 3 in the morning. I am alert enough to handle it and take care of her so I refuse to complain. I am good for nothing at 3am.

Here is an idea of what we are dealing with during the witching hour:



In other news, my baby has given herself a hickey. She sucked on her little juicy arm so hard that she has a bruise. You should feel sorry for me because that is an indication of how hard she suckles!

She is so cute! Weldon and I are in competition for who can make her laugh first. We have both made her smile but not a chuckle. She has chuckled in her sleep twice, I think her angel decided to be the first. I am determined but so is Weldon...I will keep you posted on who wins.

Other than that, I am loving being a mom. She is the best thing ever and I still can't believe she's mine. Furthermore, I can't believe she started out as a little peanut, grew, and came out of my body. It's surreal. I get anxious, because I am so excited to show her things and play with her. She is so fragile right now. I can't wait until I can put her on my hip and raise her up and bounce her. However, I look back at the first week pics when she was tiny and I can't believe she is so big already. She is growing like a weed!

As for me, I have started kicking myself into gear to become the old Alissa. It's not as hard as I thought it would be, thank goodness. I took a nice long walk yesterday and it felt great. Working out will be a breeze, or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

Enjoy a sneak peak at my baby's newborn photo shoot.

Until next time...

My baby girl

So here's the story:

I arrived at the hospital having contractions- oops, I thought they were Braxton-Hicks.

Dose of Pitocin and water break: 8:30am
Contractions intensify: 9:00am-11:00am
Popsicle snack: 11:15am
Epidural turned down: 11:30am
Contraction from H-E-L-L: 11:40
Begging 'Superman' to stick me with epidural: 11:45
Epidural in effect, blood pressure drops, baby heart rate drops: Noon
Worry, fear, fear, worry: 12:30-1:30
Stabilized and passed out from exhaustion: 1:30-2:30
Woken up to check dilation: 2:30 (8cm)
Complete: 3:00
'Practice' pushes: 3-3:30
Nurses yell: STOP PUSHING, THE DOCTOR'S NOT HERE!: 3:35
Doctor comes in, sees the head, rushes into his gear, I push once: 3:40pm
Madly in love with my daughter: The rest of my life

The end

Now the fun part!









Name: Andromeda Nyte Barber 'Andie Bar'
Weight: 8lbs, 8oz.
Length: 20.5in

The first week home was an emotional roller coaster. There is no other way to put it. When my baby latched on to nurse, it felt like I was being bitten. It hurt so bad! I see why people don't nurse. I almost gave it up until I discovered the beautiful breast-pump. My breast-pump, Gloria, has saved my life. She is my new best friend. The pain subsided very early on and now nursing is a no-brainer. I feel fortunate that it only took about a week to get the hang of it.

At night, the wake-ups were only HALF of the discomfort, it was the constant worry that added to the exhaustion. I had the bassinet as close to the bed as humanly possible and kept checking to see if she was breathing. If she so much as coughed I would cry- I was terrified of something happening to her. I also cried every time I looked at her or Weldon. I cried for no reason at all and I cried for many different reasons. I cried, cried, and cried.

The sleeplessnes is physically painful and crippling. There have been many nights where I have gotten pooped, peed and barfed on at the same time. My only thought is: get the baby clean and get back to sleep. Yes, I have slept in baby poop with a smile on my face. My husband and I have beautiful, 800 thread-count sheets, that are now stained with baby poop. It's the best design in the world. That's what babies do to you.

My mother-in-law came and spent the four snow days with us. That literally saved my life. She cooked us meals and took Andie in the night. I would be dead if it weren't for her help. Literally. I actually had to go to the hospital and get checked out because I felt horrible. It turns out I was dehydrated because I actually forgot to eat or drink anything for 24 hours. Coupled with the nursing I was in bad shape. Luckily I was able to turn it around before my health got really bad. The snow days were a wonderful time of bonding with my mother-in-law and I'm grateful for them.

During the day we sleep, eat, and poop. She hardly ever cries- she has a 'hungry' chant and that's all the hint I need to feed her. After that, she has a poopie grunt and I instantly get it off of her; she hates being dirty. She cries really hard if she barfs out of her nose and mouth at the same time. I imagine that it burns just like it does adults. That whole thing about letting them cry to exercise their lungs: we don't do it. When Andie cries we know something is wrong or she is uncomfortable, not being bratty about a feeding. It's reassuring and has helped my nerves a lot.


One night, Andie woke up whining and I tried to feed her. Nothing. She wouldn't nurse. Something told me to check her diaper and sure enough she was poopie. As soon as I finished changing her, she whined for milk, and latched right on. My little diva will not nurse unless her diaper is clean. She's hilarious.

Her navel fell off and she has an inny. She can now have wet baths, which are absolutely adorable and fun. She seems to enjoy being bathed, so I take my time so she can feel soothed by the warm water. That's another thing: I can't rush anymore. It takes me forever to change her diaper. Something has slowed me down, which I needed anyway. I was too ungraceful and fast for no reason before. The only drawback is that I get pooped or peed on more than I would if I were a little quicker. Maybe once I get more sleep I will speed up again. We'll see.

One more thing: my cat, Alex, is doing amazing. He never had to be redirected from Andie's things. He totally gets what's going on and respects the boundaries. The mammal in him is helping the situation.

Motherhood is a beautiful experience. The love and concern I have for her breaks my heart because she is so helpless yet so precious. The joy I have feels like too much. I imagine that all mommies feel this way so it is just a rite of passage when bringing another life into the world. Overall, I am having the best time of my life and Andie is the best thing that has ever happened to our little family of three.

Enjoy the pics of our 3-week old daughter.

Until next time...

10 months prego

Wow. Tonight is my last night pregnant. We will induce Zig tomorrow morning at 7am. We tried to give him or her 2 extra days to come out but no such luck. I have mixed emotions about inducing, mainly because I have been so against it for so long. There is a part of me that feels like I'm forcing Ziggy to come out. Another part of me knows that too much time in the womb offers another set of risks. All in all, I'm at peace and riding out on faith. This picture was taken a few minutes ago. Weldon and I are hibernating tonight. My hair is totally sticking up at the top so feel free to laugh...I sure did.

What we did on our last night...drum roll, please:
Meal: Chinese take-out
Phone calls: Danielle (Aunt), Winston (Uncle), My mom, his mom, Uncle Anthony
Prayers: Too many to name- thanks to you all!
Activities: Couch. Nap. Basketball games on TV. Weldon's working out. I'm blogging. Alex is napping by the fire.
Ziggy is: playing and giving mommy sooooo many Braxton-Hicks contractions it's not even funny
Work: I worked today and hugged so many kids it's not even funny- hopefully the germs will give Zig some good anti-bodies ;-)
Fears: kids at the hospital- I'm TERRIFIED of the germs (again, riding out on faith)
Excitement: Finally knowing the gender and sharing the name
First plans with baby: kissing those little lips!

Anyway, I feel really sentimental right now. It's kind of like the feeling I get after Christmas. I reflect on how beautiful the season was and how great it was to see family and friends. As I look at each gift that I anticipated unwrapping, I always feel a little heavy-hearted too. It's because I know that Christmas is over and I will miss it, even though the holiday produces so much fruit that lingers.

I'm happy to know that I will see my baby very soon. Nothing is making me sad, but at the same time I feel a big shift coming. I have spent so much time being pregnant and now I will be so different. Pregnancy in and of itself was already so foreign and now it will be over. It's quite a physical roller coaster. I can honestly say that I have savored every single moment from start to finish. I will never forget the essence of my pregnancy. It didn't fly by; I enjoyed all 10 months little by little, day by day. Many view pregnancy as a novelty. They relish in the cute belly and all the attention. Me...I see it as a torch that some women carry, spreading the light of new life around such a dark place. I am grateful that I got to do my part and also happy to pass the torch to those who will come after me.

With that being said, I will be at a different place in my pursuit of life, love and happiness very soon. My next stop will be dedicated to someone else's well-being, and I am so eager to put myself second for such a good cause. I've spent 29 years with myself and can honestly say that it was a good investment of time. 'Alissa' will still collect annuities, so when I come back to the forefront I know I will thrive.

I will go now. Next time I post there will be a delivery story. I hope you enjoyed my journey as much as I did.

Shalom

39 down, ? to go

Sooo...time is officially standing still. I'm also going stir-crazy. I have no idea when my baby is going to come but I know it will be soon. Not knowing the gender is helping a little bit, so atleast I have that. My due date is 9 days away and it may as well be 9 months. Either way, there's still no baby in my house. Ugh.

I cook. I clean. I wash. I fold. I work. I rest. I chat. I e-mail. All of it seems...sooooo...mundane. Everything is just a minute distraction that doesn't last nearly long enough. I honestly don't know what kind of life I led prior to this pregnancy but it seems, from pictures, that it was fun. Right now though, things seem like little details in the midst of something so much bigger. Something that even I can't wrap my hands around- literally. Ugh.

Today has marked more changes. Suddenly I have stopped leaking. Yes, folks, pregnant ladies leak. Sorry if it's TMI but it's also TRU. I'm not sure what happened, but since leaking sucks I'm not upset about it. Additionally, I have acquired an annoying, disgusting habit that I REFUSE to articulate. Let's just say, all the beans I have ever eaten in my life are coming to life right now. Furthermore, my mindset is officially PMS-esque. I am so utterly annoyed and irritated by just about everything around me right now. I almost feel high on annoyance. For the most part, this emotion has not translated into my interaction with Weldon. That would be HORRIBLE. However, I have started snapping at him...also, as of today, for being overprotective.

He admits that he feels so different physically and emotionally. My hormones have taken over the whole house and now my poor husband is affected. He worries that my mannerisms are not safe enough. When I'm sitting down he worries that I am pinching the baby. Anytime I want a hug, he cuts it short so he doesn't crush the baby. When Zig moves around and I want him to feel, of course I'm touching my belly too firmly...it's not good for the baby. I can't do anything right because he thinks I'm hurting the baby!!! I'm not hurting the baby!!! Today he even jerked the steering wheel while I was pulling next to a gas tank because he thought I was going to hit it. He said he was saving me from an accident. Gosh...it's a miracle that I have been successfully pumping gas since I was 16 with no incident...according to Weldon. Do you get my drift? We are both going stark-raving mad. If Zig loves us s/he will rescue us from this horrible, hormonal waiting game!

A few more changes that have happened are that Zig is now permanately poking out at any given time. Before this week, I would see and feel hard lumps (most likely feet or elbows) when the baby moved or kicked. Now, I can press down on my belly and find a hard lump, any time, moving or not. I think it's because my munchkin has no place else to hide and is now officially protruding out of my body. All the more reason to come out, Zig! My lady lumps have started itching again, but not half as bad as before. They're also slightly tender, too.

I'm still able to sleep, but only on the couch. The armrest is my new boyfriend, his name is Phil. I am in love with him and will choose him over the Four Seasons Hotel any day. He never moves, he's soft, and he is high enough for me to lay my head down and lean my entire body. Without Phil I am nothing. Thanks, Phil.

The picture was taken at the beginning of my 38th week. I actually feel as comfortable as I looked in the picture. For some reason, the overall misery I was dealing with a couple of weeks ago has subsided. I enjoy working and am able to cook and chop and sautee again. Yippeeee! I even went and perused a couple of stores today for fun. Not sure why I'm getting such a treat but I'll take it.

At the doctor on Friday I found out that I'm not dilated BUT my cervix is thinning. Those were the words my doctor said so I'm assuming that a thinning cervix is a good sign. Personally, my cervix has been driving me batty for the past 3 weeks. Crazy shooting pains have been happening in that vicinity that I could truly live without. Perhaps that is the thinning process?? Whatever, it could be anything with only 9 days left. I guess I won't complain anymore. I can do anything for 9 days...I think. If Zig comes late then the induction is scheduled for 2 days after my due date. Looking back, 2 days doesn't seem like enough time to let Zig come naturally. Weldon is set on that day and argued with me when I suggested pushing it into the first week of February. I either have to convince him to give Zig a little more time or Zig HAS to come before the induction date. I hope its the latter. I'm terrified of being induced beause it increases the risks of other interventions and complications that I don't want to deal with. I will just take a leap of faith and continue praying that everything stays balanced and happens exactly the way it's supposed to.

I guess I better go. Maybe next time I post I will have a delivery story. If not, you should probably brace yourself from some psychosis at its finest.

Tootles.

Happy New Year!

Hello, hello! Finally, we have entered the year my baby will be born! I'm so stoked. We went to the doctor today and had one more sono. The doctor wanted to make sure Ziggy's head wasn't going to be too big and it's not. Thank goodness! S/he is still measuring really big though:

Weight: 7lbs, 13oz
Length: 19.6 inches
Percentile: 91st
Cheeks: still chubby

Our sonographer totally loves us because she always does free 4D sonos. She did another one today. Ziggy's little features have changed so much in the past 6 weeks. The baby looks more like me this time, even daddy agrees. Those little cheeks and lips are sooo juicy! I just love it! (Sorry, no pics bc they are on paper and I'm not up to scanning). There are officially 10 fingers and 10 toes and 90% of heart defects have been ruled out. Wonderful news.

As for the holiday, it was great. We saw friends and family and ate great food. We ended the festivities with another baby shower last Sunday. That was fun, too. Everyone filled out papers with their guess on the gender and they were all boys except for 3. In just three weeks we will finally know the answer!!! After my appointment today I'm back on the girl bandwagon, I was thinking boy for about a month. The truth is I have NO idea, ha ha!

I promised pics of the going home outfit- we found the one we wanted! The only problem is it is HUGE. They don't have newborn sizes. We are just going to put Zig in a little gown and then use the bearsuit as a coat for outside. Atleast s/he will have the bearsuit for about 2-3 months.

All in all, I am having the time of my life. It's so not about me but I get a front row seat to the beauty of life. People, big or small, mean or nice, man or woman, have surprised me through this whole experience. My own brother-in-law, who calls himself The Grinch touched my belly to feel the baby move. That's the magic of new life. Everyone wants to know how Zig is feeling and acting. People don't want me to lift a finger unless I have to. All to help bring another life safely into this world. It's truly amazing to see such tenderness in the world. I have been humbled by people because I have seen their true colors and humans are not as bad as I thought. I feel blessed to be carrying another friend or relative for the people in my life. I can't wait to become the 'Barber Family of Three'. Sigh...

Until next time...

Full Term

Ziggy is officially full term today! Yep, that's right, 36 weeks! Woo hoo! Technically, my munchkin pie can come out anytime now and be A-okay. Of course, the little lungs can always use as much time as possible, so there's still no rush. I'm still pretty stoked, though.

As far as I'm concerned, I FEEL 9 months pregnant. Let-me-tell-you. In just one week I have undergone a DRASTIC metamorphosis. I have been growing about every 5 days now and I feel every inch of it. When Ziggy grows I can feel the stretching and it's pretty uncomfortable. My biggest area of complaint, however is my energy level. About twice or three times a day I get an overwhelming feeling of being weighed down. It feels like an anvil is sitting on my entire upper body and it is really hard to function. The best way to describe it is breathlessness, with a twist of every other vital organ being pressed down as well. Not fun. I was telling Weldon that it may be when my body feeds Ziggy...? Not sure what it is because it lasts for a while and then goes away. I'm going through a good spurt right now, it's been about 2 hours. It's times like these that I am so grateful for. I'm so happy I don't feel that anvil feeling all day long. It's enough to make me want to cry.

Yesterday I pushed myself and went to Babies R Us to get the 'going home' outfit. It felt good to be up and walking after the car ride. When I am in the car driving I get uncomfortable after about 10 minutes because of the angle I'm sitting in. Also, my right leg really likes to be upright and I can't do that when I'm the one driving. Needless to say, by the time I arrived at the store I was so relieved to be out of that car! I got Zig the cutest little white outfit; I did settle though, because they didn't have my first choice in the right size. Sure enough, when I got home, daddy wasn't as happy with it either. We are going to go to a different store in hopes of finding first choice. Then I will post pics of the new outfit.

Last night friends came over after dinner. I cooked and then cleaned up and laid out a few things for them. By the end of the night my legs were in sheer agony. It felt like I swam 5 miles. I had to elevate them really, really high in order to calm them down. I laid with my legs up on my headboard last night. It felt good and I was able to sleep. At this point, any sleep I get is a blessing, no matter how coo-coo I may look on the outside.

I got out a calendar to map out my January. There's not a lot of time left before Zig comes out. I have a couple of days off that won't count against maternity leave and I am trying to calculate the best way to shuffle them around. I decided not to work more than two days in a row, which means I will take every Wednesday off until the baby comes. That should help things out. I've already decided that dinner is now going to be a one pot sensation from here on out. No more chopping and sauteeing and stirring- I paid dearly for that yesterday.

Ziggy is soooo active. I love my little boopie. The personality of this baby is very chipper and upbeat. Ziggy loves to play, play, play! S/he is very responsive to drastic things in the outside world. The other day I woke him or her up with a loud guffaw. Weldon and I loved it because it was proof that there is a third person in the room with us at all times. Sigh...

My cat has kind of backed away a little bit. He doesn't like me to hold him as much as he used to. I think the bump has gotten to him. My friend Jessica said that since he is a mammal himself he totally gets what's happening. She may be right. He has a slight interest in Ziggy's things but we let him snoop around to his liking so he gets used to them. He has been redirected from the crib only once. The bassinet is no longer of interest to him. The biggest issue is the rocking chair. It is a papasan rocker so it's a perfect cat-cubby. Sorry, Alex, not for you!

Okay, I'm feeling a little too good right now. I have rambled on for far too long. I've got to relieve you of this now. I think I will go have a glass of water and relish in this moment of comfort- who knows how long I have.

Until next time...

Lovely Bones

Hidey Ho! Well, Christmas is coming, yes indeed. Of course, Santa is the LAST thing on my mind. As we approach the holidays, all I can think about is Ziggy! People at my job keep asking me if I'm coming back after Christmas Break. I really hope to return to work after Christmas break because I don't want my baby to come early! Although, with the way I have been feeling these past two weeks, I see why people want to put a rush on delivery. Goodness gracious! Since we last touched base:

I can no longer sit at a right angle without my legs being separated.
My arms are sore as though I've been working out (sleeping on my sides has finally caught up with me).
Queesiness has returned (ugh).
I can't breathe!!!
Ziggy's bones have gotten harder and mommy feels it!!!

Kung Fu Panda is still in full effect. Those hard little bones are so intrusive when the baby kicks now. It doesn't hurt, but it feels soooo strange and it makes me gasp. The fun part is the little knots that show up on belly. I really like them!!! I have no idea what they are, some would say elbows...? It's pretty scary to think that there's a real little baby hanging out upside down in my belly.

I had one scare with the doctor. One day at work I felt menstrual-like cramps for about 2 hours straight. They scared me so I called the doctor and she said to take Tylenol and take a bath...and that if they didn't go away after 2 hours to go to labor and delivery!!!! Instantly, I started to cry. When I heard the words Labor and Delivery I froke (not a real word) out. Ziggy is only 33 weeks along!!! They reassured me that it would only be to do a few tests on me and Zig. Luckily the bath and Tylenol worked and I haven't had a single cramp. Phew!!! That scared me to death!

I'm getting Braxton Hicks more and more often (about 3 or 4 times a day), which is totally normal. All in all, I'm still comfortable about 65% of the time, which is awesome. I can't imagine going into labor anytime soon though. There are still moments when I close my eyes and don't feel pregnant. I can still sleep through the night. Who knows when Ziggy is going to come out. The first thing I'm going to do is look at that little gender...then kiss Ziggy on those juicy little lips. I'm so stoked!!!

Until next time...