39 down, ? to go

Sooo...time is officially standing still. I'm also going stir-crazy. I have no idea when my baby is going to come but I know it will be soon. Not knowing the gender is helping a little bit, so atleast I have that. My due date is 9 days away and it may as well be 9 months. Either way, there's still no baby in my house. Ugh.

I cook. I clean. I wash. I fold. I work. I rest. I chat. I e-mail. All of it seems...sooooo...mundane. Everything is just a minute distraction that doesn't last nearly long enough. I honestly don't know what kind of life I led prior to this pregnancy but it seems, from pictures, that it was fun. Right now though, things seem like little details in the midst of something so much bigger. Something that even I can't wrap my hands around- literally. Ugh.

Today has marked more changes. Suddenly I have stopped leaking. Yes, folks, pregnant ladies leak. Sorry if it's TMI but it's also TRU. I'm not sure what happened, but since leaking sucks I'm not upset about it. Additionally, I have acquired an annoying, disgusting habit that I REFUSE to articulate. Let's just say, all the beans I have ever eaten in my life are coming to life right now. Furthermore, my mindset is officially PMS-esque. I am so utterly annoyed and irritated by just about everything around me right now. I almost feel high on annoyance. For the most part, this emotion has not translated into my interaction with Weldon. That would be HORRIBLE. However, I have started snapping at him...also, as of today, for being overprotective.

He admits that he feels so different physically and emotionally. My hormones have taken over the whole house and now my poor husband is affected. He worries that my mannerisms are not safe enough. When I'm sitting down he worries that I am pinching the baby. Anytime I want a hug, he cuts it short so he doesn't crush the baby. When Zig moves around and I want him to feel, of course I'm touching my belly too firmly...it's not good for the baby. I can't do anything right because he thinks I'm hurting the baby!!! I'm not hurting the baby!!! Today he even jerked the steering wheel while I was pulling next to a gas tank because he thought I was going to hit it. He said he was saving me from an accident. Gosh...it's a miracle that I have been successfully pumping gas since I was 16 with no incident...according to Weldon. Do you get my drift? We are both going stark-raving mad. If Zig loves us s/he will rescue us from this horrible, hormonal waiting game!

A few more changes that have happened are that Zig is now permanately poking out at any given time. Before this week, I would see and feel hard lumps (most likely feet or elbows) when the baby moved or kicked. Now, I can press down on my belly and find a hard lump, any time, moving or not. I think it's because my munchkin has no place else to hide and is now officially protruding out of my body. All the more reason to come out, Zig! My lady lumps have started itching again, but not half as bad as before. They're also slightly tender, too.

I'm still able to sleep, but only on the couch. The armrest is my new boyfriend, his name is Phil. I am in love with him and will choose him over the Four Seasons Hotel any day. He never moves, he's soft, and he is high enough for me to lay my head down and lean my entire body. Without Phil I am nothing. Thanks, Phil.

The picture was taken at the beginning of my 38th week. I actually feel as comfortable as I looked in the picture. For some reason, the overall misery I was dealing with a couple of weeks ago has subsided. I enjoy working and am able to cook and chop and sautee again. Yippeeee! I even went and perused a couple of stores today for fun. Not sure why I'm getting such a treat but I'll take it.

At the doctor on Friday I found out that I'm not dilated BUT my cervix is thinning. Those were the words my doctor said so I'm assuming that a thinning cervix is a good sign. Personally, my cervix has been driving me batty for the past 3 weeks. Crazy shooting pains have been happening in that vicinity that I could truly live without. Perhaps that is the thinning process?? Whatever, it could be anything with only 9 days left. I guess I won't complain anymore. I can do anything for 9 days...I think. If Zig comes late then the induction is scheduled for 2 days after my due date. Looking back, 2 days doesn't seem like enough time to let Zig come naturally. Weldon is set on that day and argued with me when I suggested pushing it into the first week of February. I either have to convince him to give Zig a little more time or Zig HAS to come before the induction date. I hope its the latter. I'm terrified of being induced beause it increases the risks of other interventions and complications that I don't want to deal with. I will just take a leap of faith and continue praying that everything stays balanced and happens exactly the way it's supposed to.

I guess I better go. Maybe next time I post I will have a delivery story. If not, you should probably brace yourself from some psychosis at its finest.

Tootles.