10 months prego

Wow. Tonight is my last night pregnant. We will induce Zig tomorrow morning at 7am. We tried to give him or her 2 extra days to come out but no such luck. I have mixed emotions about inducing, mainly because I have been so against it for so long. There is a part of me that feels like I'm forcing Ziggy to come out. Another part of me knows that too much time in the womb offers another set of risks. All in all, I'm at peace and riding out on faith. This picture was taken a few minutes ago. Weldon and I are hibernating tonight. My hair is totally sticking up at the top so feel free to laugh...I sure did.

What we did on our last night...drum roll, please:
Meal: Chinese take-out
Phone calls: Danielle (Aunt), Winston (Uncle), My mom, his mom, Uncle Anthony
Prayers: Too many to name- thanks to you all!
Activities: Couch. Nap. Basketball games on TV. Weldon's working out. I'm blogging. Alex is napping by the fire.
Ziggy is: playing and giving mommy sooooo many Braxton-Hicks contractions it's not even funny
Work: I worked today and hugged so many kids it's not even funny- hopefully the germs will give Zig some good anti-bodies ;-)
Fears: kids at the hospital- I'm TERRIFIED of the germs (again, riding out on faith)
Excitement: Finally knowing the gender and sharing the name
First plans with baby: kissing those little lips!

Anyway, I feel really sentimental right now. It's kind of like the feeling I get after Christmas. I reflect on how beautiful the season was and how great it was to see family and friends. As I look at each gift that I anticipated unwrapping, I always feel a little heavy-hearted too. It's because I know that Christmas is over and I will miss it, even though the holiday produces so much fruit that lingers.

I'm happy to know that I will see my baby very soon. Nothing is making me sad, but at the same time I feel a big shift coming. I have spent so much time being pregnant and now I will be so different. Pregnancy in and of itself was already so foreign and now it will be over. It's quite a physical roller coaster. I can honestly say that I have savored every single moment from start to finish. I will never forget the essence of my pregnancy. It didn't fly by; I enjoyed all 10 months little by little, day by day. Many view pregnancy as a novelty. They relish in the cute belly and all the attention. Me...I see it as a torch that some women carry, spreading the light of new life around such a dark place. I am grateful that I got to do my part and also happy to pass the torch to those who will come after me.

With that being said, I will be at a different place in my pursuit of life, love and happiness very soon. My next stop will be dedicated to someone else's well-being, and I am so eager to put myself second for such a good cause. I've spent 29 years with myself and can honestly say that it was a good investment of time. 'Alissa' will still collect annuities, so when I come back to the forefront I know I will thrive.

I will go now. Next time I post there will be a delivery story. I hope you enjoyed my journey as much as I did.

Shalom

39 down, ? to go

Sooo...time is officially standing still. I'm also going stir-crazy. I have no idea when my baby is going to come but I know it will be soon. Not knowing the gender is helping a little bit, so atleast I have that. My due date is 9 days away and it may as well be 9 months. Either way, there's still no baby in my house. Ugh.

I cook. I clean. I wash. I fold. I work. I rest. I chat. I e-mail. All of it seems...sooooo...mundane. Everything is just a minute distraction that doesn't last nearly long enough. I honestly don't know what kind of life I led prior to this pregnancy but it seems, from pictures, that it was fun. Right now though, things seem like little details in the midst of something so much bigger. Something that even I can't wrap my hands around- literally. Ugh.

Today has marked more changes. Suddenly I have stopped leaking. Yes, folks, pregnant ladies leak. Sorry if it's TMI but it's also TRU. I'm not sure what happened, but since leaking sucks I'm not upset about it. Additionally, I have acquired an annoying, disgusting habit that I REFUSE to articulate. Let's just say, all the beans I have ever eaten in my life are coming to life right now. Furthermore, my mindset is officially PMS-esque. I am so utterly annoyed and irritated by just about everything around me right now. I almost feel high on annoyance. For the most part, this emotion has not translated into my interaction with Weldon. That would be HORRIBLE. However, I have started snapping at him...also, as of today, for being overprotective.

He admits that he feels so different physically and emotionally. My hormones have taken over the whole house and now my poor husband is affected. He worries that my mannerisms are not safe enough. When I'm sitting down he worries that I am pinching the baby. Anytime I want a hug, he cuts it short so he doesn't crush the baby. When Zig moves around and I want him to feel, of course I'm touching my belly too firmly...it's not good for the baby. I can't do anything right because he thinks I'm hurting the baby!!! I'm not hurting the baby!!! Today he even jerked the steering wheel while I was pulling next to a gas tank because he thought I was going to hit it. He said he was saving me from an accident. Gosh...it's a miracle that I have been successfully pumping gas since I was 16 with no incident...according to Weldon. Do you get my drift? We are both going stark-raving mad. If Zig loves us s/he will rescue us from this horrible, hormonal waiting game!

A few more changes that have happened are that Zig is now permanately poking out at any given time. Before this week, I would see and feel hard lumps (most likely feet or elbows) when the baby moved or kicked. Now, I can press down on my belly and find a hard lump, any time, moving or not. I think it's because my munchkin has no place else to hide and is now officially protruding out of my body. All the more reason to come out, Zig! My lady lumps have started itching again, but not half as bad as before. They're also slightly tender, too.

I'm still able to sleep, but only on the couch. The armrest is my new boyfriend, his name is Phil. I am in love with him and will choose him over the Four Seasons Hotel any day. He never moves, he's soft, and he is high enough for me to lay my head down and lean my entire body. Without Phil I am nothing. Thanks, Phil.

The picture was taken at the beginning of my 38th week. I actually feel as comfortable as I looked in the picture. For some reason, the overall misery I was dealing with a couple of weeks ago has subsided. I enjoy working and am able to cook and chop and sautee again. Yippeeee! I even went and perused a couple of stores today for fun. Not sure why I'm getting such a treat but I'll take it.

At the doctor on Friday I found out that I'm not dilated BUT my cervix is thinning. Those were the words my doctor said so I'm assuming that a thinning cervix is a good sign. Personally, my cervix has been driving me batty for the past 3 weeks. Crazy shooting pains have been happening in that vicinity that I could truly live without. Perhaps that is the thinning process?? Whatever, it could be anything with only 9 days left. I guess I won't complain anymore. I can do anything for 9 days...I think. If Zig comes late then the induction is scheduled for 2 days after my due date. Looking back, 2 days doesn't seem like enough time to let Zig come naturally. Weldon is set on that day and argued with me when I suggested pushing it into the first week of February. I either have to convince him to give Zig a little more time or Zig HAS to come before the induction date. I hope its the latter. I'm terrified of being induced beause it increases the risks of other interventions and complications that I don't want to deal with. I will just take a leap of faith and continue praying that everything stays balanced and happens exactly the way it's supposed to.

I guess I better go. Maybe next time I post I will have a delivery story. If not, you should probably brace yourself from some psychosis at its finest.

Tootles.

Happy New Year!

Hello, hello! Finally, we have entered the year my baby will be born! I'm so stoked. We went to the doctor today and had one more sono. The doctor wanted to make sure Ziggy's head wasn't going to be too big and it's not. Thank goodness! S/he is still measuring really big though:

Weight: 7lbs, 13oz
Length: 19.6 inches
Percentile: 91st
Cheeks: still chubby

Our sonographer totally loves us because she always does free 4D sonos. She did another one today. Ziggy's little features have changed so much in the past 6 weeks. The baby looks more like me this time, even daddy agrees. Those little cheeks and lips are sooo juicy! I just love it! (Sorry, no pics bc they are on paper and I'm not up to scanning). There are officially 10 fingers and 10 toes and 90% of heart defects have been ruled out. Wonderful news.

As for the holiday, it was great. We saw friends and family and ate great food. We ended the festivities with another baby shower last Sunday. That was fun, too. Everyone filled out papers with their guess on the gender and they were all boys except for 3. In just three weeks we will finally know the answer!!! After my appointment today I'm back on the girl bandwagon, I was thinking boy for about a month. The truth is I have NO idea, ha ha!

I promised pics of the going home outfit- we found the one we wanted! The only problem is it is HUGE. They don't have newborn sizes. We are just going to put Zig in a little gown and then use the bearsuit as a coat for outside. Atleast s/he will have the bearsuit for about 2-3 months.

All in all, I am having the time of my life. It's so not about me but I get a front row seat to the beauty of life. People, big or small, mean or nice, man or woman, have surprised me through this whole experience. My own brother-in-law, who calls himself The Grinch touched my belly to feel the baby move. That's the magic of new life. Everyone wants to know how Zig is feeling and acting. People don't want me to lift a finger unless I have to. All to help bring another life safely into this world. It's truly amazing to see such tenderness in the world. I have been humbled by people because I have seen their true colors and humans are not as bad as I thought. I feel blessed to be carrying another friend or relative for the people in my life. I can't wait to become the 'Barber Family of Three'. Sigh...

Until next time...