Wow, it's been a while. I bet you can guess what the hold up has been: school started. I'm back in the working world. After two weeks, my body finally readjusted to getting up in the morning, projecting my voice, and standing on my feet for extended periods of time. At first, it was culture shock. When the alarm went off on the first day, I was scared there was a fire. In the car on the way to work, I kept wondering why there were so many other people on the road. It's funny what one can forget over the summer. At any rate, I'm happy to be back working. The summer was quite rejuvenating. Also, the anticipation of Ziggy made it a summer I will never forget: the last summer I'll spend as a non-mommy. GASP!!!
I get butterflies thinking about it. The other day I imagined how I will react when my water breaks. What will happen in the delivery room? Then it hit me: I will have a baby. One that I will keep forever...and ever. It will be my very own. What will become of life? Who will I be as a mother? Wellie and me??? Will there still be such a thing? The day before school started I wept in my husband's arms. I wasn't sad about the start of school, rather, sentimental at the truth of this past summer. I realized that it was the last summer that Weldon and I spent together, just the two of us. As I cried I told him that I am looking forward to being a parent and I'd see him in about 20 years. We will be old and gray the next time it is just us. Boy oh boy, how bittersweet is that?!
As a person who is totally into my marriage, I was always leary of having children. Weldon and I are so happy and we truly enjoy each other. Children were never a must-have for us; they were only ever a bonus. We always said that if God wants us to be parents, he will plant the seed in our heads, we never laid out a life plan for when we would start a family. We've been a family since the day we got married. Now, we are finally growing and it is so alarming at times. What a change!! I'm excited to team up with him to raise these kiddos. BUT (the infamous but), I am protective of my marriage. I don't want to lose what we have. Only a mother can explain the balance to me, maybe not even then. Perhaps when Ziggy comes it will all lay into place and make perfect sense. Until then, the anticipation is quite the emotional roller coaster.
Speaking of Ziggy. We are now 20 weeks along...aka...5 months! This is the first time in my life I can say that time is both flying by and standing still. I can't believe I am sitting here as my baby dances in my belly. It seemed like only yesterday I was sitting at the doctor's office praying that there would be a heartbeat in the UltraSound. Now here I am, with living proof every day that Ziggy is alive and well...and quite the character.
We have already had a standoff in the bed. My little eggplant didn't want me to lay on a certain side. Both of us stubbornly awaited the other to move. After 20 minutes I realized something: this baby is most likely an attitudinal little girl. That's right, I lost the battle. There was a part of me, however, that loooovvveeed the self-advocacy coming from my womb. I winked at my unborn child as I shifted in humble submission. Like I said before: I don't care about 'Alissa' anymore.
Since we last touched base I have also become a yogi. I'm truly enjoying it and I must say the breathing techniques are helpful, especially with school being in session. So far I get good sleep at night, about 7 hours' worth. I'm hoping I can somehow create a bank of energy that will carry over to January when Ziggy comes to tire me out. We'll see how that goes.
Other than the usual wonders of pregnancy not much else has been going on. I have been spending time with friends and family. Ziggy has been to a birthday party, a going away party, in which she was walked on by her cousin, seen various movies, and even been to a Dallas Cowboys football game at the new souped up psychadelic stadium. What a social life this little eggplant has! I can't wait to experience more Adventures of Ziggy as time goes by. Of course, I will keep you posted every step of the way.
Until next time...
Shalom
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