I am not negative, I am a dancer.

I was reading someone's blog recently and she made an interesting comment. She said that the only rights she has with people are to accept them for who they are or stay away from them. Wow. That resonated with me. I have a problem with the shady little gray area I have created within this ideal. You see, I accept people for who they are (unless they piss me off or do something I think is stupid, then I 'vent' with someone else about how much they suck at life). I also stay away from people (unless I don't, which is the case with certain people in my life I have absolutely not accepted yet still associate with). Ugh! I'm wasting my time and others'. What a loser! So my plan is to now negate the gray area I have created and do the following: 1) stop 'venting' about people, because it is glorifed gossip and a reason to be bratty. 2) stop hanging around people I simply cannot deal with 3) truly accept people I simply cannot avoid 4) get cooler and more humble, heck, people accept my imperfections!



Someone who is really good at this is my sister (shout out!!). She has never been rude or nasty about people behind their backs. People have disappeared from her circle of friends over the years, but she never blasphemes people. She's pretty smart. I guess I feel guilty ex-ing people out of my life but now I realize I'm making myself miserable by keeping them around. I'm not a deity, I am not strong enough to be around people I can't accept. My pride has gotten in the way of my happiness!!! I'm the only idiot wasting my time with people I can't accept. Man...where was I when the memo was sent? Now I'm just plain embarassed.



I can't wait to see what I will do with all of my free time now that I will start to live by a new ideal. My conversations with my bff/hubby will be a lot different, because he's the one to whom I do most of my venting. I'm sure he will be relieved to hear me talk about something else besides how annoyed I am by people all the time. Perhaps I will take up reality TV watching. Better yet, I may even film my own life and post it on YouTube. There could be some things folks would find entertaining.

I will start off with my job. I teach middle school Spanish. It could be considered entertainment to watch me try to teach native Texans how to speak Spanish. PS: Texas is a red state. Funny!!!! I will also zoom in on the kids who eat boogers while reading library books. It's gross, because I see the books change hands from kid to kid and all I can picture is Kid A wiping his boogie on page 35. Yuck! If kids knew they were touching each other's boogies they probably wouldn't be so snotty towards each other (no pun intended).



Another point of interest would definitely have to be my cat. He sleeps just about all the time, but manages to find a new position EVERY time he naps. I don't get it. I've had him for six years and he still finds new positions. Take a look at this one:



Is he really comfortable? The other thing I find really odd about my cat is that he always opens his eyes for pictures. He's ALWAYS looking at the camera. I can never catch him off guard. How does he know?! He was totally knocked out until he heard my camera beep and then those little marble eyes opened up. Scary.

I would also focus on my husband, who does basketball poses when a ballad comes on the radio. I'm not kidding. He actually does an 'air' layup or fade-away when he hears Whitney Houston. It's hilarious. He also does a security check of our house every...single...time we come home. I'm not allowed to speak, in case the thief is being quiet and sneaky. I have to stay near the garage door, in case we have to run back out of the house. Then he goes from room to room, checking closets and underneath the beds. There is a weapon involved. A metal stick that was once a curtain rod. In case the thief is there, Weldon will be ready! Believe it or not, I have actually bought in to this ritual. I sneezed once and was terrified that I had given the thief opportunity to make a move. What's going on at the Barber house?!

Finally, I would turn the camera on myself. I actually sit for extended periods of time in my house with no television or music. What am I doing? Not reading, just thinking. It shows all over my face, too. Weldon says I look like a victim of shock. What am I thinking about? My 'to-do' list or designing a new outfit in my head or decorating my dream house. My favorite daydream is adopting a 2-year old. I know it's weird because I'm pregnant but I literally fantasize about bringing home a little 2-year old and putting her in a bubble bath and then feeding her the best meal she's ever had. Yes, it's always a girl. I actually get annoyed when Weldon interrupts me! If you don't daydream, then you should. It's pretty relaxing. I also have dance routines that I am dedicated to, they usually occur before I cook. In my head I am doing lyrical interpretations of Alicia Keys' songs, but in person I probably look like I'm having a seizure. Sometimes, Weldon walks into the kitchen while I'm dancing and I pretend I'm swatting a fly or stretching...it's too embarassing to own up to my dreams of being a dancer. I also do gymnastic beam routines on my tile lines. I'm really good at turns and jumps, I always stick my landing, too.

Already I am excited to have more free time. What a relief that I don't have to be weighed down by negativity. I feel dumb for figuring it out late but thanks to the blogger and my sister, I have good role models to keep me on track.

Shalom.