Lady Lumps and an Apple

There is an apple in my belly. It is alive. It is hard. I am scared to lie down on it for fear that I will crush it. It moves around to different spots in my belly. Now, I can actually poke around my belly and find my apple! Whenever I find it I'm always so happy! Weldon doesn't like me poking because he says I'm hurting Ziggy (I still do it...in secret). I can't help it! I love finding my apple!!! The other day I was bowling and when I bent down to roll the ball into the gutter my apple would pinch me a little bit. I eventually stopped bowling because I didn't like being pinched over and over again (and because I SUCK, hee hee). I'm sure that once I buy maternity pants I will stop getting pinched. It's weird though, because I'm not big enough for maternity pants yet so I just unbutton my top button like a beer daddy and keep it moving.

(By the way, my uncle touched my little poof of a bump yesterday. It was so cute. He is my first bump-toucher. My two friends, Nikki and Damion, don't count, because they've been touching my belly since I told them about Ziggy. They love my baby just that much! Weldon doesn't count either, because, well, he just doesn't!)

Anyhoo, speaking of maternity clothes...my chest is ready for maternity tops! Yeah, buddy, that's right. My girls are now women! I find myself peeking at them when I'm out in public, or at home, or in the shower, or driving. I think I like them too much. My bikini top is too small for me, which makes me sad because I must've been smaller than I imagined before Ziggy. What will I do when they go away? I WANT TO KEEP THEM. My mama says I can't. I say boooooo! I totally get why people get implants now. Before I didn't get it but now...man, oh man, I get it! If I wasn't afraid of goop leaking into my body and killing me I would sew them in like a weave, honey. I have no shame! With my luck, the goop would totally leak though, so I'll just take pregnant pics and keep them in my nightstand to peek at when this is all over.

Well, that's about it, folks. Me and my girls are gonna go struttin' around town like we do everyday. I gotta go put on my v-neck. Tootles.